What Do I Hope to Achieve in My Life?

Fotoğraf: Scott Webb: https://www.pexels.com/tr-tr/fotograf/eller-yukselterek-kisi-silueti-136415/

I am a person who is 20 years old. I had enrolled in an undergraduate program. My department is psychology, and I’m in my third year in there. I have some expectations for my life. I aim to reach a good position by learning different disciplines. For this reason, I study hard for my lessons, and I always get high scores. To improve my knowledge, I read books that related to other disciplines such as sociology, anthropology, neuroscience, computer science, and linguistics. All of these approaches are new and amazing for me. I enjoy it when I search for or read something about them. All of these disciplines enrich my life, and how do I live my life?

In my opinion, what I did until today makes my personality; however, I have doubts about that. My actions are part of my existence, but I have emotions and a subjective inner world. So, I think, who am I deeply? I contemplate the components of my existence. Did I become a person who is interested in bilingualism when I search, how is being bilingual? I suppose bilingualism becomes a part of my own personality. I begin to think about details of my existence. I wonder, does it make me a programmer when I search for R programming on my computer? I guess I become a person who is interested in programming.

Besides my all-interesting areas, I have friends and other relationships. Having different friends changes my mind and enriches it. Knowing R or what is changing on the person who is bilingualism makes new conservations, but these don’t make real conservations. Making new friends depends on my candour and ability to reflect my opinion. I become an attractive person when I talk efficiently and intimately, and talking using simple words helps to earn many new friends. I realise communication with others shapes my personality. Beyond communication, how do I make conversation with others play a critical role in understanding myself?

I highlighted friendship styles and personal knowledge’s importance in my existence. I wanted to get a friend. I got it. I wanted to learn R, and I did it. It is not all that I want from life and my expectations from myself. I still want to learn what is essential for me and want to learn what is the biggest part of my life. I never found any big part until today. I do not know what I want to do here, in this world, because I know there is something bigger than me, and it is important to discover. I talk about my life’s purpose. I wonder about my life’s purpose in there as a student, as a person, as a learner. I want to pass to another dimension to understand my life clearly.

I do not know what I should ask to get the truth, and it makes me uncomfortable. I sometimes lost my interest in friendships, relationships, and my resolution. I do not think that Turkey’s general situation is not okay, and I can see it everywhere, like in cafes, streets, educational institutions, and associations. People do not know what they should do nowadays. I took my own piece from this because I share the same problems with others. In general, knowing what is essential and enjoyable for me is important because thus I can go away from this depressed situation. I will keep trying everything until I find what is most critical for me.